Yes, you'll look like an idiot in lederhosen or a bosom-lifting dirndl. The good news is, so will everyone else. Oh, and cross-dressing is apparently fine.
1. Hitch those hosen —
Yes, you'll look like an idiot in lederhosen or a bosom-lifting dirndl. The good news is, so will everyone else. Oh, and cross-dressing is apparently fine.
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Important anthropological note: Bavarians like to sing, and no more often than at Oktoberfest. Last year they invited Japan's top yodeling star, Sakura Kitagawa, to belt out a few numbers at the big beer shindig.
2. Belt out "Ein Prosit der Gemütlichkeit" —
Important anthropological note: Bavarians like to sing, and no more often than at Oktoberfest. Last year they invited Japan's top yodeling star, Sakura Kitagawa, to belt out a few numbers at the big beer shindig.
Johannes Simon/Getty
Oh, look at all those lovely empty Oktoberfest tables! They won't be empty for long. Book early, like the Germans, or you won't visit the rest room for fear of losing your seat.
3. Find table, don't visit rest room —
Oh, look at all those lovely empty Oktoberfest tables! They won't be empty for long. Book early, like the Germans, or you won't visit the rest room for fear of losing your seat.
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Missing: One Teutonic pillager's hat. That item somehow makes sense at Oktoberfest, but some of the other items ending up in lost property there don't bare thinking about. Point being: Bring your singing voice, lederhosen, dirndl and some euros -- and little else.
4. Sit on that Viking helmet —
Missing: One Teutonic pillager's hat. That item somehow makes sense at Oktoberfest, but some of the other items ending up in lost property there don't bare thinking about. Point being: Bring your singing voice, lederhosen, dirndl and some euros -- and little else.
Jed Jacobsohn/Getty Images
Drink moderately, that is, although the Germans can't be that mature because they do have the word Bierleiche (beer corpse) for someone like this resting Oktoberfester.
5. Drink like a European —
Drink moderately, that is, although the Germans can't be that mature because they do have the word Bierleiche (beer corpse) for someone like this resting Oktoberfester.
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A tent isn't just a tent at Oktoberfest, but a sign of your personality type. Celebrities of various grades gather at the Hippodrom tent -- here a German designer of trad Bavarian wears what looks like a floral spaceship landing on her head.
6. Elect your tent —
A tent isn't just a tent at Oktoberfest, but a sign of your personality type. Celebrities of various grades gather at the Hippodrom tent -- here a German designer of trad Bavarian wears what looks like a floral spaceship landing on her head.
Hannes Magerstaedt/Getty
Unashamedly heavy, piggy German food just happens to be the perfect protection against excessive wheat beer consumption. If you're vegetarian, there's sauerkraut.
7. It could be Wurst —
Unashamedly heavy, piggy German food just happens to be the perfect protection against excessive wheat beer consumption. If you're vegetarian, there's sauerkraut.
Sean Gallup/Getty
Only the boldest ladies will wear their dirndl bow dead center. (Read below to find out why.) And, men, beware going beyond courtly compliments.
8. Wear your dirndl bow right —
Only the boldest ladies will wear their dirndl bow dead center. (Read below to find out why.) And, men, beware going beyond courtly compliments.
ALEXANDER HASSENSTEIN/Getty
No, this isn't magic beer, but Oktoberfest novelty key rings. Available, along with beer-themed snow globes and more, in Munich starting this weekend.
9. Play the tourist -- buy a souvenir —
No, this isn't magic beer, but Oktoberfest novelty key rings. Available, along with beer-themed snow globes and more, in Munich starting this weekend.
Alexandra Beiergett/