Read the headlines in Le Monde so you can pretend to have opinions on current affairs.
1. Bone up on culture —
Read the headlines in Le Monde so you can pretend to have opinions on current affairs.
MIGUEL MEDINA/AFP/Getty Images
Never drink a milky coffee after a meal in France -- people will think you're a baby.
2. Sort the coffee minefield —
Never drink a milky coffee after a meal in France -- people will think you're a baby.
PATRICK KOVARIK/AFP/Getty Images
They might have done it in "Pulp Fiction," but don't snap your fingers and yell, "Garçon!" at a French waiter. These guys are pros.
3. Treat waiters as equals —
They might have done it in "Pulp Fiction," but don't snap your fingers and yell, "Garçon!" at a French waiter. These guys are pros.
FRED DUFOUR/AFP/Getty Images
"Why should we move ze train? We're playing cards." French government employees sometimes seem to have obstructiveness written into their job descriptions. Don't accept it.
4. Stand up to civil servants —
"Why should we move ze train? We're playing cards." French government employees sometimes seem to have obstructiveness written into their job descriptions. Don't accept it.
Keystone/Getty Images
Adopt the female-assassin look, with killer stiletto heels to match.
5. How to dress -- women —
Adopt the female-assassin look, with killer stiletto heels to match.
David Livingston/Getty Images
Serge Gainsbourg -- chain-smoker, drunk, occasional singer and ideal sartorial role model for French men.
6. How to dress -- men —
Serge Gainsbourg -- chain-smoker, drunk, occasional singer and ideal sartorial role model for French men.
AFP/Getty Images
The artfully ancient Marais -- now so expensive only rich foreigners can afford it.
7. Shun the suburbs —
The artfully ancient Marais -- now so expensive only rich foreigners can afford it.
MIGUEL MEDINA/AFP/Getty Images
Paris Plages -- the "beaches" laid down every summer along the banks of the Seine -- are one stop for the modern Parisian flâneur, or aimless wanderer.
8. Learn to be a flâneur —
Paris Plages -- the "beaches" laid down every summer along the banks of the Seine -- are one stop for the modern Parisian flâneur, or aimless wanderer.
Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images
You may not be in town long enough to pull it off, but attitudes toward sex are liberal in the extreme, so you might follow the example of Parisians who commonly have lovers.
9. Get something going on the side —
You may not be in town long enough to pull it off, but attitudes toward sex are liberal in the extreme, so you might follow the example of Parisians who commonly have lovers.
JACQUES DEMARTHON/AFP/Getty Images
Parisians consider overt concern for money vulgar, so create a diversion before you check that restaurant bill.
10. Disdain money —
Parisians consider overt concern for money vulgar, so create a diversion before you check that restaurant bill.
Caroline VENTEZOU/AFP/Getty Images
Learn the language of Molière, but only enough so you can start slipping in "cool" English words such as "look" (as in style), "weekend" and, of course, "cool."
11. Learn French —
Learn the language of Molière, but only enough so you can start slipping in "cool" English words such as "look" (as in style), "weekend" and, of course, "cool."
Patrick Riviere/Getty Images