Portraits depict ‘struggles and joys’ of older transgender adults | CNN

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Portraits depict ‘struggles and joys’ of older transgender adults

Updated 1:10 AM EDT, Wed August 22, 2018
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The image used on the cover of Jess T. Dugan and Vanessa Fabbre's forthcoming book, "To Survive on This Shore: Photographs and Interviews with Transgender and Gender Nonconforming Older Adults." <br /><br />Scroll through the gallery to see more images from the book, with quotes from the accompanying interviews.
Gloria, 70, Chicago —
The image used on the cover of Jess T. Dugan and Vanessa Fabbre's forthcoming book, "To Survive on This Shore: Photographs and Interviews with Transgender and Gender Nonconforming Older Adults."

Scroll through the gallery to see more images from the book, with quotes from the accompanying interviews.
Courtesy the Catherine Edelman Gallery, Chicago
"I think people talk in either/or terms, right? Before transition and after. But to me, it's really development. I'm proud of both lives. I'm proud of both 'me's, if you see what I'm saying. And I feel it has been a remarkable thing to have happened to a person. I'm grateful."
Bobbi, 83, Detroit —
"I think people talk in either/or terms, right? Before transition and after. But to me, it's really development. I'm proud of both lives. I'm proud of both 'me's, if you see what I'm saying. And I feel it has been a remarkable thing to have happened to a person. I'm grateful."
Courtesy the Catherine Edelman Gallery, Chicago
"People need to know they're not alone. Because that was my battle. For 50 years. I was in it by myself."
D'Santi, 54, Santa Fe —
"People need to know they're not alone. Because that was my battle. For 50 years. I was in it by myself."
Courtesy the Catherine Edelman Gallery, Chicago
"I'd go the clinic for my HIV, I would do stuff. I'd push patients, walk them to the car, sing church songs. I was just having a ball while I was waiting for my appointment. And a guy saw me one day who ran an agency, and he said, 'Miss Dee Dee, you work down here?' I said, 'No.' He said, 'I got a job for you.' And that was God just setting me in right there in that clinic with my own desk and I was my own boss. I could go to work as myself."
Dee Dee Ngozi, 55, Atlanta —
"I'd go the clinic for my HIV, I would do stuff. I'd push patients, walk them to the car, sing church songs. I was just having a ball while I was waiting for my appointment. And a guy saw me one day who ran an agency, and he said, 'Miss Dee Dee, you work down here?' I said, 'No.' He said, 'I got a job for you.' And that was God just setting me in right there in that clinic with my own desk and I was my own boss. I could go to work as myself."
Courtesy the Catherine Edelman Gallery, Chicago
"I just know I'm me. I don't think in terms of names and forms and all that. It doesn't matter. I'm just myself and that's who I am. I am at peace with myself. It is the most wonderful feeling in the world, because you're never in a hurry to get somewhere, you know, to prove to anyone that you're who you know you are."
Duchess Milan, 69, Los Angeles —
"I just know I'm me. I don't think in terms of names and forms and all that. It doesn't matter. I'm just myself and that's who I am. I am at peace with myself. It is the most wonderful feeling in the world, because you're never in a hurry to get somewhere, you know, to prove to anyone that you're who you know you are."
Courtesy the Catherine Edelman Gallery, Chicago
"I still see myself as on a journey. When I received an award a few years ago at a conference I said, 'In the '60s they called me a sissy. In the '70s they called me a f****t. In the '80s I was a queen. In the '90s I was transgender. In the 2000s I was a woman, and now I'm just Grace'."
Grace, 56, Boston —
"I still see myself as on a journey. When I received an award a few years ago at a conference I said, 'In the '60s they called me a sissy. In the '70s they called me a f****t. In the '80s I was a queen. In the '90s I was transgender. In the 2000s I was a woman, and now I'm just Grace'."
Courtesy the Catherine Edelman Gallery, Chicago
Samm: "Hank and I have been together 44 years. We met after her time in the military, through some Chicago lesbians I had met ... She was different from anybody I have ever met in my whole life and I knew that she would be in my life for the rest of my life. There was this immediate connection that would always be there. The way we are today, we started out that way."
Hank, 76, and Samm, 67, North Little Rock —
Samm: "Hank and I have been together 44 years. We met after her time in the military, through some Chicago lesbians I had met ... She was different from anybody I have ever met in my whole life and I knew that she would be in my life for the rest of my life. There was this immediate connection that would always be there. The way we are today, we started out that way."
Courtesy the Catherine Edelman Gallery, Chicago
"I got cancer and I was facing discrimination where doctors wouldn't even give me my biopsy results. The man who was supposed to be my breast surgeon wanted to send me out to psychiatry. Wanted to send me to psychiatry before giving me any breast cancer care! And he didn't even call me to give me my biopsy results. I didn't even know that I was sick for a long time."
Jay, 59, New York —
"I got cancer and I was facing discrimination where doctors wouldn't even give me my biopsy results. The man who was supposed to be my breast surgeon wanted to send me out to psychiatry. Wanted to send me to psychiatry before giving me any breast cancer care! And he didn't even call me to give me my biopsy results. I didn't even know that I was sick for a long time."
Courtesy the Catherine Edelman Gallery, Chicago
"You have to have a thick skin to survive in the South being transgender. Unfortunately, I know too many who don't. And most of them are young. I think that over the years, I've developed this thick skin because it's either that or die."
Lee Anne, 64, McClellanville —
"You have to have a thick skin to survive in the South being transgender. Unfortunately, I know too many who don't. And most of them are young. I think that over the years, I've developed this thick skin because it's either that or die."
Courtesy the Catherine Edelman Gallery, Chicago
"In school, we were forced to wear dresses. Even if the snow was two feet deep, you couldn't come to school in pants. I was mortified on a daily basis that I had to dress the way I did. In high school, other adults began to pick at me and be cruel. When I was a junior, the teacher gave me an F in gym. I was a straight-A student and an excellent athlete. She gave me an F in gym because I wouldn't take showers, but I wouldn't take showers because I didn't want to expose myself publicly with the body I had."
Jude, 75, Yuba City —
"In school, we were forced to wear dresses. Even if the snow was two feet deep, you couldn't come to school in pants. I was mortified on a daily basis that I had to dress the way I did. In high school, other adults began to pick at me and be cruel. When I was a junior, the teacher gave me an F in gym. I was a straight-A student and an excellent athlete. She gave me an F in gym because I wouldn't take showers, but I wouldn't take showers because I didn't want to expose myself publicly with the body I had."
Courtesy the Catherine Edelman Gallery, Chicago
"When I was younger and I looked in the mirror, I saw a boy. And I remember when I came out to my parents, my mother was like, 'I always knew that there was something a little different,' but she didn't know what. I was born in 1964, so my parents, being born and raised down south, they had no idea whether it was transgender or gay or lesbian or anything. And so now we know what it is."
Preston, 52, East Haven —
"When I was younger and I looked in the mirror, I saw a boy. And I remember when I came out to my parents, my mother was like, 'I always knew that there was something a little different,' but she didn't know what. I was born in 1964, so my parents, being born and raised down south, they had no idea whether it was transgender or gay or lesbian or anything. And so now we know what it is."
Courtesy the Catherine Edelman Gallery, Chicago
"I failed miserably as a lesbian. I had sex with too many men. So it just wasn't right. I moved to San Francisco in 1986 and became very involved in the women's SM community. I am one of the founders of International Ms. Leather. I had to hide being a trans man for a while because I thought they would take my 'card' away. Well, I finally committed and said, 'This is not right.' So that's when I began to transition and never looked back."
Sky, 64, Palm Springs —
"I failed miserably as a lesbian. I had sex with too many men. So it just wasn't right. I moved to San Francisco in 1986 and became very involved in the women's SM community. I am one of the founders of International Ms. Leather. I had to hide being a trans man for a while because I thought they would take my 'card' away. Well, I finally committed and said, 'This is not right.' So that's when I began to transition and never looked back."
Courtesy the Catherine Edelman Gallery, Chicago
SueZie: "Years of self-administering hormones caused a complication that threatened my chances for surgery. I said to Cheryl, 'I'll die as female. Nothing is stopping that surgery." If there was a 95% chance of failure, of dying on the operating table, that was a risk I was willing to take. I could not go on how I was. My greatest challenge, it came from within. It was having the confidence to face the world out there."
SueZie, 51, and Cheryl, 55, Valrico —
SueZie: "Years of self-administering hormones caused a complication that threatened my chances for surgery. I said to Cheryl, 'I'll die as female. Nothing is stopping that surgery." If there was a 95% chance of failure, of dying on the operating table, that was a risk I was willing to take. I could not go on how I was. My greatest challenge, it came from within. It was having the confidence to face the world out there."
Courtesy the Catherine Edelman Gallery, Chicago
"I'm a trans woman. I've always identified as female, but it took a while to get to that point, because I am originally from the Caribbean and the church is very strong there. I always knew that I was different. I remember going through puberty and asking my mom, 'How come I don't have breasts?' and she said, 'Well, it's because you're a boy.' That didn't seem right to me. It just didn't match."
Cassandra, 50, San Diego —
"I'm a trans woman. I've always identified as female, but it took a while to get to that point, because I am originally from the Caribbean and the church is very strong there. I always knew that I was different. I remember going through puberty and asking my mom, 'How come I don't have breasts?' and she said, 'Well, it's because you're a boy.' That didn't seem right to me. It just didn't match."
Courtesy the Catherine Edelman Gallery, Chicago
"Even though I've transitioned, I can't deny or completely separate myself from the past because it did happen and those memories are with me. It wasn't until I got into my 50s that, through internet research, I discovered there was a name for all this. It was a great relief. "
Stephanie, 64, St. Louis —
"Even though I've transitioned, I can't deny or completely separate myself from the past because it did happen and those memories are with me. It wasn't until I got into my 50s that, through internet research, I discovered there was a name for all this. It was a great relief. "
Courtesy the Catherine Edelman Gallery, Chicago
"In the Hispanic community, you know, a lot of cisgender men, they don't take trans very easy. So that's why I just make sure I'm careful. It's really a safety issue. I don't trust too much. Being Hispanic, I have to be more masculine."
Sukie, 59, New York —
"In the Hispanic community, you know, a lot of cisgender men, they don't take trans very easy. So that's why I just make sure I'm careful. It's really a safety issue. I don't trust too much. Being Hispanic, I have to be more masculine."
Courtesy the Catherine Edelman Gallery, Chicago
" I joined the military when I was 19 and did six years. I was a woman on the weekends. I looked forward to getting my hotel room and being Vanessa. And six years of weekends, you know, it just got old. The reason I didn't stay in the military was because I had to be Vanessa full-time."
Vanessa, 51, Atlanta —
" I joined the military when I was 19 and did six years. I was a woman on the weekends. I looked forward to getting my hotel room and being Vanessa. And six years of weekends, you know, it just got old. The reason I didn't stay in the military was because I had to be Vanessa full-time."
Courtesy the Catherine Edelman Gallery, Chicago
"Before trans was even labeled as trans, it was sissy. I was a sissy. But my mother knew enough to be supportive ... I was like, 'Well, you know, I'm living as a girl now.' And my mother said, 'We are not going to say living 'as' a girl. We are going to say you are living in your womanhood, your sisterhood. It gives you power, it gives you authenticity'."
Caprice, 55, Chicago —
"Before trans was even labeled as trans, it was sissy. I was a sissy. But my mother knew enough to be supportive ... I was like, 'Well, you know, I'm living as a girl now.' And my mother said, 'We are not going to say living 'as' a girl. We are going to say you are living in your womanhood, your sisterhood. It gives you power, it gives you authenticity'."
Courtesy the Catherine Edelman Gallery, Chicago

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